


A Million Suns

by fandomtrashiness



Category: Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anxiety, Depression, F/M, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Swearing, and the popular kids hate the theatre kids, crutchie and mike are the popular kids, everyone else is a theatre kid, half the newsies are jerks for a while, race ike and henry are on the football team, so are race and ike and henry, sorry the popular kids are jerks for a while
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-06-01
Packaged: 2019-05-17 00:47:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14822052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandomtrashiness/pseuds/fandomtrashiness
Summary: Race was straight. He told himself every day that he was straight. And for a while, he believed himself. And then Albert showed up.





	A Million Suns

**Author's Note:**

> So, this ended up way longer than I expected, but please enjoy! (Also, be on the lookout for many references to other things)

Race was straight. He was sure of it. It didn't matter that he thought Darcy in his english class had a nice ass, or that he thought Spot Conlon, the boy who had transferred to a high school in Brooklyn the year before was hot. It definitely did  _not_ matter he had a dream about kissing Jack Kelly, the lead of the school musical the night he went to see it. Race was straight. He had to be. How could someone who had made out with as many girls as he had not be straight? Race managed to tell himself day in and day out that he was straight.

 

And then Albert DaSilva showed up.

 

Race told himself he didn't like him. He told himself he was just jealous of Albert's good looks. He told himself he was just impressed by how easily he was fitting in, despite transferring to Race's high school in the middle of the year. He told himself he was just admiring of his muscles in an objective way, sneaking into all of his theatre rehearsals because he left his backpack there, staring at him in math class because he was simply zoning out, and all sorts of excuses. He didn't know what to tell himself when Albert brushed up against him in the hallway and a strange feeling fell over his crotch...

 

No! Race was  _straight._ STRAIGHT! He was not gay! Definitely not! He loved girls, he kissed girls, he definitely did  _not_ love guys. Or so he told himself.

 

"Are you watching our rehearsal?" Albert asked Race. All Race could think was  _shit_.  _Shit_ and  _his lips are perfect._ Race was ducked down next to one of the theatre seats, pretending he left his sunglasses on the ground there, and Albert was standing over him. Race stood up abruptly, although his brain scolded him for leaving the view of Albert's crotch.

"I thought I left my sunglasses here." Race mumbled.

"Well, it seems like you lose something in here every day." Albert chuckled. He brushed his red hair out his eyes, and for a split second Race and Albert met each other's eyes. Race looked down quickly.

"I'm forgetful." Race said stubbornly.

"Well, will you at least tell me what you think of the show so far?" Albert asked.

"It's good." Race admitted. "You're doing The Lightning Thief Musical, right?"

"Yeah." Albert grinned. "I hope you'll come see it next week!"

"Maybe... I don't know if you understand how social hierarchy works, but I'm not so sure I can go to some prissy musical without getting shit from my friends." Race said.

"Oh..." Albert's face fell. "I get it. Reputation to keep and all that. Can't have a football player being more than just a two-dimensional jock."

"I might-  I might go see it anyway." Race said softly, hurriedly leaving the theatre before Albert could respond.

"Wait!" Albert called after Race, but it was too late.

 

 

"So, I uh, thought about going to go see the school musical next week." Race commented awkwardly at lunch. "Just to laugh at how stupid it is, of course." He added after noticing the looks from his friends.

"I heard it's about some 12 year olds going on some 'magical quest'." Ike said mockingly.

"Seems pretty gay." Henry scoffed.

"What was the book it's based off of called? Percy Jackson?" Crutchie asked.

"Yeah. It's for little kids." Race agreed, although he felt a twinge in his stomach when he said it.

"I heard that the new kid is in it though. The one who already seems to be rising in popularity?" Mike said offhandedly.

"Ha! How does he expect to be like us  _and_ be a theatre nerd at the same time?" Crutchie laughed.

"I think I might go see it anyway. I had fun making fun of the musical last semester, the one with Jackass Kelly, so maybe it'll be a laugh to see Asshole DaSilva ruin his reputation onstage." Race said nonchalantly.

 

_If only your friends new you were just looking at the ass of "Jackass Kelly" when you saw last semester's musical..._ Race's brain told him. Race told his brain to shut up.

 

"Yeah. I might come with. Is Jackass Kelly gonna be in this one too?" Crutchie asked eagerly.

"What? You like him or something?" Ike teased.

"Yeah, right." Crutchie rolled his eyes.

"He is." Race confirmed.

"How do you know so much about the musical?" Henry asked.

"Why do you know so much about the musical?" Mike countered.

"I'll do you one better, who do you know so much about the musical?" Ike added on. Mike punched him.

"Why do you guys care? It's not like I'm quitting the football team to join theatre like Mush did." Race defended.

"Whatever." Crutchie said, and everyone transitioned back into small talk and gossip. Race breathed a sigh of relief.

 

 

Race could not seem to get his brain to shut up that night. He was sitting in his bed, browsing YouTube on his laptop when his brain started to attack him. It felt like an argument between two sides of his head.

_You like boys, Race. Don't try to deny it._

_I do not like boys! I have a girlfriend!_

_Please tell me about your interaction with Albert DaSilva today from a heterosexual viewpoint._

_I- it- he-_

_See? You can't._

_I KISS GIRLS. I LIKE GIRLS._

_No, you don't. Do you feel anything when you kiss Brooke?_

_That's not the point! Could a gay guy kiss as many girls as I have?_

_Yes! You're denying your identity! It's okay to be you!_

_No, it's not. I would become an immediate social outcast. I would be banned from the football team, banished from my lunch table, I would_ _have no friends, no-_

_You would have a boyfriend._

_What?_

_Albert  likes you. Ask him out after the musical. He'll say yes._

_No._

_Yes!_

_NO!_

 

 

"Higgins!" Race turned around at the call of his last name and found himself face to face with none other than Jack Kelly. His brain immediately brought up the memory file of Race's dream from the previous semester. Race pushed the thought down.

"What do you want, Jackass?" Race asked, scowling.

"Very original name." Jack commented. "Anyways, I saw you in the theatre yesterday. Don't think I don't know your secret." Race blushed instinctively.

"Let's go somewhere private, shall we?" Race asked, fully intending on punching Jack once they were out of any teacher's line of sight. They walked to a secluded area behind the baseball bleachers.

"I know you're about to punch me." Jack said, examining his nails absentmindedly.

"You gonna try and stop me?" Race asked, cracking his knuckles.

"On the contrary..." Jack drawled. 

 

And Jack's lips were suddenly on Race's.

 

Race would deny leaning in if anyone asked him, but he definitely leaned in. Jack wrapped his arms around Race's neck, deepening the kiss. Race pulled away.

 

"What the hell?!?" Race shouted.

"It was nice, right?" Jack asked, smirking.

"N-no!" Race protested.

"You leaned in. And you felt it, didn't you? The spark? The one you never feel when you kiss girls?" Jack asked. Race punched him in the stomach.

"You tricked me!" Race shouted. He kicked Jack's ankles, causing him to fall to the floor. Race leaned down next to Jack's face. "You tell no one." Race whispered before walking away.

 

 

"Thank you for coming to our production of The Lightning Thief: The Percy Jackson Musical! Concessions are in the hallway outside the theatre, please silence all cell phones during the show." A cheery voice called from a mic in the sound and light booth. The house lights dimmed, and the show started with its trademark flash of lightning.

 

 

"That was, surprisingly good." Crutchie said after the show.

"Yeah." Race agreed.

"We can't tell the others we liked it though." Crutchie said hurriedly.

"Yeah."  Race said again, zoning out a bit.

"Racer? Are you even listening to me?" Crutchie demanded.

"Sorry, I-" Race started to say.

"Holy shit." Crutchie said.

"What?" Race asked, confused.

"Turn around." Crutchie said plainly. Race did. Standing directly behind him was none other than Albert DaSilva.

"You did come." Albert said, smiling a bit.

"I'm gonna go..." Crutchie awkward stood up and headed for the stage. Race was too distracted by Albert to ask why.

"Yeah, I uh, I did." Race said, confused as to why he was blushing.

"What did you think?" Albert asked breathlessly.

"It was very good. You were amazing. When you sang The Tree On The Hill..." Race stopped himself.

"I'm glad you liked it." Albert smiled.

"Listen, Albert, you're a great person and all, I just- My friends don't think I should talk to you." Race said, a bit embarrassed.

"I see." Albert said tightly. "God forbid a football player talk to a theatre kid."

"I don't make the rules!" Race said.

"You just follow them." Albert said, his smile falling. He walked away, leaving Race practically gasping for air.

 

 

"What's wrong with me?" Race shouted at himself when he got home. His dad was out, probably on a date or something, so he was home alone. When Race was alone, he tended to talk to himself. "I can't like a boy! I can't! I have a girlfriend!" Race flopped down onto his couch with a can of ginger-ale. He sipped at the fuzzy drink and turned on the TV. He had to distract himself. And just his luck, the 6th Harry Potter movie was on. Fuck. He had forgotten how hot Draco was. He changed the channel to SpongeBob. He couldn't handle SpongeBob at that moment, so he switched it to Cartoon Network. Teen Titans Go? He was not putting up with that shit. Disney Channel had some original movie on, but he was tired of flipping through the channels so he kept it on. It was called "Descendants 2" and it was apparently the sequel to a movie about the kids of famous Disney villains. He found himself staring at the clearly pansexual son of Captain Hook, Harry. Race sighed. How was he supposed to convince himself he was straight when he was so obviously gay? Race pulled out his phone and pressed the call button.

"What dos you want, Race?" Mush asked exasperatedly.

"Listen, Mush, I know I was a huge dick, but I need your advice."  Race said.

"Give me one reason not to hang up on you right now."

"I think I'm gay."

"You think?"

"Well, I know I'm gay. And I don't know what to do."

"You know what's going to happen." Mush laughed. "The same thing you did to me! You'll get shamed off of the football team! You'll join theatre so you can hook up with your crush! You'll be a social outcast! They'll call you 'Racefuck' or something stupid like that!"

"I get it, Mush. What do I do?' Race asked, putting his head in his hands.

"Apologize to Albert."

"What?'

"We're all at the cast party right now, and Albert is crying in the bathroom instead of doing High School Musical karaoke. It can only be because of you."

"So at school tomorrow tell him I'm sorry?"

"Right now. The party is at Davey's house, and I know you live like 3 houses away from him. Come over and apologize to Albert."

"And then everyone will be talking about how Race went to the theatre party."

"You won't be the only popular kid here." Mush responded. "Your pal Crutchie? He's been here making out with Jack the whole time."

"What?!?"

"Yep. So come and apologize to Albert right now or I will come to your house and punch you."

"Fine." Race hung up and turned off the TV. He finished off his soda and put on a jacket before heading out. He walked the short distance to Davey Jacobs's house, and tentatively knocked on the door. Davey opened it almost immediately and let Race in.

"Albert is down the hall, second door on the right. Break his heart and this cast party turns into a blood hunt." Davey said casually, leading Race past people toward the hallway. Race thanked Davey and knocked twice on the bathroom door.

"Occupied!" Albert called from inside. Race opened the door anyway. "What're you doing here?" Albert asked when Race entered the bathroom and closed the door behind him.

"I came to apologize." Race said quietly.

"Well you're too fucking late!" Albert said angrily. "I've already become this party's own personal Michael Mell! Crying and having a fucking panic attack in the bathroom!"

"Does that make me Jeremy?" Race asked.

"You know Be More Chill?" Albert cocked an eyebrow.

"No use hiding it now..." Race mumbled.

"You know what, you can just go. Because if you're Jeremy, that just makes it all ten times worse." Albert's voice was dangerous and sharp, but it was barely above a whisper.

"Why?" Race asked, his voice almost pleading.

"You know why."

"God, Albert I-" Race nervously ran his fingers through his hair. "I'm going to regret this later, but I have something to tell you." Race took a deep breath. "I like you. I have for a while. I'm not straight, I don't like girls, I don't even like football."

"And what does football have to do with being gay or straight?"

"I don't know! I just think you should know I hate football! I only joined the team because my dad made me." Race admitted. "But my secret is out, so I'm gonna go now." Race turned away from Albert and opened the door to the bathroom, and when he did he discovered Jack and Crutchie leaned up against the door, trying to listen in.

"Race-" Crutchie started to say.

"Fuck you!" Race shoved his middle fingers in their faces and stormed away. He had meant to leave, he really had, but he found himself talking to Davey on the front porch.

"It's okay, Race." Davey said quietly.

"Is it? I just ruined my entire life. No friends, no supportive dad, no fucking understanding of how life works..." Race said morosely.

"Who says you have no friends?" Davey asked.

"I'm going to be kicked off of the football team tomorrow, Albert hates me, Jack hates me, Mush hates me, and that makes all of the rest of the theatre kids hate me."

"Life gets better, Race. The world doesn't end, it just feels like it does." Davey said, putting his hand on Race's shoulder.

"Do all of you theatre kids make everything a musical reference?"

"Yes. And I think maybe you should be wondering why you understand every single one." Davey winked and disappeared back into his house. Race stood up and walked home.

 

 

**private message from "racetrack 69" to "fight me bro"**

**racetrack 69: crutchie help**

**fight me bro: y'know you yelling "fuck you" at me and flipping me off really makes me want to help you**

**racetrack 69: i'm sorry i shouldn't have done that**

**fight me bro: i get it**

**fight me bro: what do you need help with**

**racetrack 69: if i dont come out** **tomorrow i know that someone will out me**

**racetrack 69: someone posted a pic of me at the party on snapchat and i think someone sent it to morris and oscar from football because they just texted me saying theyre telling the whole school tomorrow**

**fight me bro: thats really brave, race. im proud of you.**

**racetrack 69: thx**

**racetrack 69: whatcha gonna do bout u and jack**

**fight me bro: idk probably just say yes when people ask if im gay**

**racetrack 69: wish i had the same social standing as you**

**fight me bro: you do**

**racetrack 69: no i dont youre socially invincible i can be crushed in a second**

**racetrack 69: which is why i have to come out tomorrow so its on my own terms**

**fight me bro: so i heard you secretly love musical theatre**

**racetrack 69: yes...**

**fight me bro: sing a song**

**racetrack 69: no**

**fight me bro: yes**

**racetrack 69: what song would i even sing????**

**fight me bro: im gay by thomas sanders**

**racetrack 69: YES**

******fight me bro: get 2 school early tomorrow ill set you up with music**

**racetrack 69: thx crutchie**

**fight me bro: anytime race**

 

 

"I'm gay! Gay means happy! I'm feeling gay today, you see my fingers snapping. I wanna see the world, don't feel like napping today. I'm queer! Let's be clear, when I say the word queer I mean eccentric or weird. And let me tell y'all, I'm being sincere when I say there's nothing wrong with being queer! I like men! My fellow men! Women and men! And everythin’ in betwen! And, beyond women and men, I like everyone, the end! I'm gay! But that's not queer, what's so strange about holding men dear? I'm cheery because I'm gay, and I'm okay with me!" Race had started off singing a bit tentatively, but his voice was strong and loud by the end. There was a huge crowd of his fellow juniors gathered around the lunch table he was standing on, most people looking confused. Everyone started talking when he finished the song, some people cheered, one person shouted a slur (Davey punched that person, who turned out to be Oscar Delancey), and Crutchie helped Race down from the table.

"That was great, Race! I'm so proud of you!" Crutchie said, pulling Race into a tight hug.

"Thank you." Race replied, blushing. And then Albert walked up. Beautiful, flawless Albert.

"Nice job, Jeremy." Albert said.

"Thanks Michael." Race grinned.

"Do you ship boyf-riends?" Albert asked.

"I do indeed." Race was smiling even wider now. It didn't matter that his football teammates were probably walking over to pressure him to quit the team. It didn't matter that he would soon have no friends. Race and Albert stepped into each other at the same time, their lips connecting, locked into a perfect kiss. Albert was wrapping his hands around Race's waist, Race was running his hands through Albert's silky hair, and Race felt the spark. The connection. It burned brighter than a million suns, the spark that brought them together. All that mattered was them.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! If you liked this, please leave a comment or kudos! :)  
> (Here's the link to Thomas Sanders's "I'm Gay" song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4iz2W4MGY50
> 
> Here's other newsie people and who they were cast as:  
> Percy: Specs  
> Grover: Albert  
> Annabeth: Sarah  
> Mr. D: Davey  
> Luke: Mush  
> Ares: Jack


End file.
